Seven weeks ago, Eric and I had a beautiful baby girl.
We named her Elaine Noelle, brought her home from the hospital, and confused the world by sharing not a single photo of her on our social media accounts.
By now, most people have noticed... and several people have asked.
So here it is. The "why our kid isn't plastered all over Facebook" blog.
For me, there are a few good reasons to limit my kids social media presence...
I don't know who my kid is going to grow up to be.
What if she is timid or shy?
What if she is easily embarrassed?
What if she is fiercely private?
Every person is different and while I consider myself an open book, my daughter is not me.
Similarly, every generation is different. Mine is obsessed with sharing, but what if hers isn't?
Things posted online are permanent. So that cute picture of Lainey in the bath tub or screaming bloody murder in the Target dressing room cannot be erased, even if I delete it.
I guess you could say we are trying to be considerate of her feelings, despite not knowing at this point in time exactly what they are.
I want to keep my kid safe.
So often, I want to share what I'm doing while I'm doing it.
"Look at me taking my kid on a walk in the park on this beautiful day, woohoo."
For me, this is problematic for two reasons.
1. It's sharing with the internet exactly where I am with my infant at a given moment in time.
2. It has me distracted from my surroundings (and my child) and buried in my phone.
Maybe I sound like a paranoid first-time parent, and maybe that's exactly what I am.
But this world is a scary place, where a lot of scary things can happen.
Especially to women and children who are not on their guard.
Will I still stop what I'm doing to take a picture of my kid doing something adorable?
Probably.
But I hope that by setting a precedent of not sharing, that I will be quicker to put my phone away after the picture is taken and turn my attention back to what I was doing and who I was doing it with.
I don't want to open myself up to (more) Mom-shaming
Has anybody else noticed the increase in people doling out uninvited advice or passing unwarranted judgement based on the contents of a photo?
Maybe you shared a picture of your little in their carseat making the CUTEST face... before long, 8,921 people have informed you that you are putting your baby at risk because the chest restraint is too low. What they don't know is that you had just gotten home and were beginning to unclip your babe when you stopped to snap the pic of their cute face.
People seem to think they care more about your child's safety than you do.
WHICH IS NUTS.
Basically, social media can be a super mean place and I'm not going to hand internet trolls a bunch of ammunition they might use to hurt me.
All that being said...
- I probably WILL share a picture on social media from time-to-time. It's just that it will be the exception, rather than the rule. I think this mentality will make us more selective and mindful about what we are putting out there.
- We DO have an app on our phones where we add pictures and updates for family and close friends. This allows us to keep grandparents, aunts, uncles, etc. updated without including our 200+ Facebook "friends."
If you are a relative (or considered family in one way or another) that we've forgotten to add--let me know!
- In a culture of judgement and mom-shaming, I feel like it's really important to say that just because this is the way we have chosen to handle posting to social media with our kids, does NOT mean I think people who do things differently are wrong. At all. Ever.
If we could all just do what we feel is best for our families and support other parents who are doing the same, the world would be a better place.
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